


An Unbalanced Triangle

by Katharos



Category: Cardcaptor Sakura
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-24
Updated: 2009-12-24
Packaged: 2017-10-05 04:12:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/37686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katharos/pseuds/Katharos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is the morning after Nadeshiko died.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Unbalanced Triangle

Sakura had finally fallen asleep, exhausted from crying. His father hadn't cried at all. At some point, watching him trying to comfort Sakura, Touya had realised it was because he didn't want to upset her even more. He didn't want that either. He bit down hard into his lip and tried not to think. Tried especially not to think of everything that had happened a few hours ago. It was hard.

Slowly, he realised it was breakfast time; any other day he and his father would already be cooking. He didn't feel hungry, but the monster would be when she woke up. The monster was always hungry, and they hadn't even started making dinner last night before the hospital had called, before the cold dash out to the car, before everything. So he could make breakfast, and that would help. Decided, he stood up and made his way purposefully down the stairs to the kitchen.

Once he got the rice steaming he turned to the fridge for the other ingredients for breakfast. It was much emptier then it usually was, and most of what there was there was prepackaged supermarket food, the sort of stuff that Fujitaka usually indignantly refused to buy. But convenience had been much more important recently, and speed, and spending as little time as possible on such unnecessary things.

Touya found some fish and checked the date carefully, but it was okay. His father must have bought it only a couple of days ago. Making sure that the ingredients were fresh was one of the first things his father had taught him, back when it was just the three of them before Sakura had come and his father was teaching him how to cook. With mother sitting at the kitchen table, 'helping,' and Touya swallowed, shook that thought away, concentrated on the fish. He liked feeding people.

When everything was cooking he started to set the table, concentrating furiously. But even so when it came to the chopsticks he had to stop and recount, and count again, realisation a sickness spreading in his stomach. There was one pair too many. He'd forgotten. He'd remembered to get only three plates three bowls. But he'd grabbed four pairs of chopsticks, and four was too many now. His breath was suddenly coming too fast and Touya pressed his fist up against his mouth, struggling for control. He stared down at the table, at the three places set and the gaping hole where the fourth one should be. It seemed empty, emptier than it ever had while Mother was in the hospital and the three places that were there looked strange. Unbalanced, as if they were going to collapse in on themselves at any moment.

He swallowed back the sob that wanted to force its way up past his fist; it hurt going down. He couldn't look at the table like this. Couldn't think of sitting there, of eating next to a emptiness that was a reflection of the ragged hole torn in his awareness of his family.

He had to search for the tray, and when he finally found it stuffed down the back of the sofa it was easy to guess why. Some monster had scribbled all over it in coloured crayon, and so Touya spread a tea towel over it, ignoring the tightness in his throat, and placed the dishes on that. When the food was ready he served it up and carefully carried the tray over to the stairs.

His father's study door was still shut. Touya spent a few moments standing there, just staring at it, until finally he knocked and left the food on the floor outside. No one answered in the time it took him to make his way to Sakura's room.

Sakura was still asleep when he slipped inside her room after manoeuvring the tray carefully through the door. She was curled up on top of her covers, wrapped up in her dressing gown. Touya hesitated for a moment, undecided; she needed to eat, but she also needed her sleep. Finally he set the tray down on the floor next to her bed and sat down as well. He picked at his rice, eating one grain at a time, as he waited for her to wake.

At last her heard her stirring. "Hey," he greeted quietly as her eyes opened.

"Oniichan." Her voice was very small.

"Are you hungry?" Sakura made an 'umming' sound. Touya managed a grin. "I thought monsters were always hungry."

"I'm not a monster," Sakura mumbled half heartedly, dragging herself down from the bed to end up next to him, her dressing gown swamping her. She's so small Touya thought suddenly, again. Sometimes she seemed so fragile – and that was why she had to eat, because eating would make her strong. The doctors had all encouraged Mother to eat, even at the end when she could barely keep anything down. Sakura sank down next to him as if it was too much effort to stay on her feet and leaned against his side. "I'm not hungry."

"You sure?" Touya asked, ostentatiously helping himself to some of his rice.

"Yes," Sakura mumbled again, staring down at her bowls.

"Ah?" Touya paused with his rice halfway to his mouth. "Well if you don't want it I'll just have to eat it then, because anything little sisters don't want are–" He reached for the bowl.

"I'll eat it!" Sakura grabbed up her bowl, glaring challengingly up at him, and Touya hid his sudden smile behind a mouthful of rice.

It was soon obvious Sakura wasn't going to manage it. She started nodding after the first ten mouthfulls, and by the time her food was half gone she was asleep, slumped against Touya's shoulder.

He carefully shifted the dishes away so they wouldn't get knocked over, and then nudged at Sakura until she rested against him more comfortably. At least she'd eaten something he mused, looking around for the tray to move the dishes to. His eye fell upon it – and he froze, a hard knot winding tight in his throat. The dish cloth had been knocked aside, revealing the picture drawn on the black plastic.

There was a lot of green, probably meant to represent the park going by the blur of vaguely penguin shaped black and white on one side, and a group of four stick figures. One small figure, dressed all in pink. One very tall figure, wearing an evil grin. And then two even taller figures. One of them wore glasses. The other was crowned with an immensely long fall of curly hair. Touya bit his lip, refusing to let himself cry. He'd wake Sakura.

He should clean it. Wax crayon would probably come off the finished plastic, and he could wash the picture away before Sakura could see it and start hurting again. But… he traced his fingers over the four blocky figures.

Then he reached for the tea towel and wrapped it around the tray again, and tucked the bundle out of sight. He'd move it to his bedroom before Sakura woke up, Touya decided. He could put it at the back of his wardrobe, where even monsters didn't dare to go. He could buy a new one for the kitchen with his pocket money.

The next day, Fujitaka put a picture of Nadeshiko out on the table, to keep her place.


End file.
